The improved check-in: better ways to ask “how are you”?
Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels
This article was originally posted on LinkedIn on 16th Mar 2022.
When I think of a caring friend or family member showing support, I think of the language “tell me all about it”, which invites you to really share whatever it is that might be going on with genuine interest. As a human-centred remote leader or team mate, we want to do the same, showing genuine interest, concern and inviting real sharing, doing so whilst cognisant of the best ways in a virtual environment to do this, read on to learn more:
The benefit of check-in's? - When we work with a remote team we need to consider remote work best practices and that any communications need to be underpinned with intention, be explicit and often ask questions in a better way. It often needs to be planned into our remote communications schedule, using key tools and exploring ways visually to also connect. But let’s look at the whys - ask yourself why would you check in with your team mates regularly, what could be the benefits?
The list might include:
We are all human, and crave for human connection at some level
Understand that person better, what are their likes and needs
To foster relationships and underpin trust
To display that you care - in action, through effective asking and then listening to the response
Supporting overall team connection – when these questions are asked on team gatherings and answers are shared
Encouraging fun and social interactions through better check-in practices
Generally these exchanges are two-way, so often the person also asking the question has a chance to share and exchange. Again, fostering a better relationship on both sides. With better questions, tone and intention, we support informal communication exchanges that can improve that sense of belonging for our team members.
Reframing “how are you” - "How are you?" is a question we ask mainly out of habit. Sometimes the answer is “okay” or “fine” and we move on. That might suit the situation and represent an accurate response. But many of us crave a more meaningful connection. Or in a crisis we may want to get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations (read more in last week's newsletter edition).
Whitney Goodman, author of Toxic Positivity, encourages a more expansive view of this, take a look below:
Similar to the above, I have some questions I use with my clients and team mates, which I try to use regularly:
“What did you do to take care of yourself today”
“Any particular challenges or anything challenging to share” or “anything you need to talk about”
“What have you been watching/reading/listening to lately”
“How is that experience/learning effort/plan going for you”
Asking these with real interest, friendly tone and customised to the person – e.g. Asking specifically about a training course or learning effort can vastly improve the response.
The slow death of workplace jargon - In the original physical workplace over the years, various workplace jargon had emerged, from “let’s circle back on that” to now the totally outdated “let’s take this offline”. A recent study by Slack showed: that employees want to be informal, opting for casual chats and expressive reacji that mimic human conversation.
Ultimately, remote and hybrid workers are:
🚫 Moving away from workplace jargon like “circle back,” “per my last note” and “take this offline”
💬 Adopting short, more concise messages among colleagues
😀 Enjoying an increase in productivity and a sense of belonging thanks to informal communication like emoji and GIFs that help illustrate tone, intent and self-expression
Channel-based communication platforms like Slack are also reducing the need for email—and the etiquette that goes with it. Colleagues can enjoy emotive shorthand with emoji and GIFs, plus more informalized back-and-forths than those found with email. Read more about the use of emojis for emotional expression, in our previous Newsletter.
Making that extra effort in how you ask, listen and respond, in simple every day exchanges in remote working. Not only adds value and supports better communications it also foster more robust relationships. Give it a try today!
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This article was originally posted on LinkedIn on 16th Mar 2022.